Feeding the Good Wolf: Cultivating Positive Energy and Thoughts for Mental and Physical Well-being

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There is a Native American tale about two wolves. The elder tells the youth that each of us harbors two wolves within, perpetually fighting each other. One is the good wolf, encouraging and positive, driving us toward our purpose. The other is the bad wolf, a constant complainer, a victim, or continually angry. “Who wins the fight?” the youth asked. “The wolf you feed,” answered the elder.

I love this story and would like to add a crucial consideration: to win, the good wolf needs a lot of food, but the bad wolf only needs a little.

Our brain is wired to detect threats, the negative first, a key survival mechanism. Focusing on what is wrong around us is how we feed the bad wolf.

To go against the grain (or wire) and feed the good wolf, we need tools and practices such as meditation, gratitude, and turning off the noise. These habits require more energy and need to be done more frequently until we can control our minds to focus on the positive.

Over the years, I have learned to closely guard my positive energy and perspective. I know it is fragile and, if neglected, it can feed the bad wolf instead of the good one.

“In order to carry a positive action, we must develop a positive vision.” Dalai Lama, Tibetan Buddhist spiritual teacher

Here are some of the practices I have implemented to give the good wolf more food more often.

1) Gratitude

As part of my journaling practice, I write down three things I am thankful for that day.

This compels me to think of my abundant blessings shifting my mind from the multitude of things I could complain about.

In time, our brain gets the message: there is no need to see the threat first; we can focus on the many positive things going on in our lives.

“Every day may not be good… but there is something good in every day.” Unknown

2) Meditation

I have been meditating almost every day for a few years.

For many, the word meditation evokes a monk sitting for hours in the lotus, or some other uncomfortable, position.

I started with five minutes comfortably seated, usually with my feet flat on the floor. I now do between ten and twenty minutes each day.

The purpose is to calm our brain and oxygenate our body. Meditation is easy to start, requires no special equipment, and anyone can do it regardless of physical abilities. Keep in mind that prayer could also be used as a meditation practice.

“Tough times never last but tough people do.” Unknown

3) Other people

There are many people who invariably feed the bad wolf. These are the ones who are usually complaining about everything, think nothing is worth the effort, and bring everyone down. They are not necessarily bad, criminal, or unethical people; they are at a different stage of their growth journey.

I choose to limit or cut the exposure to people whose bad wolf is winning the fight. Every family has at least one, so it may not be possible to completely cut them out of our lives. We can, however, limit the time we spend with them.

By the way, other people include authors through the books we read, podcasters, bloggers, influencers, online communities, etc.

“Only surround yourself with people who will lift you higher.” Oprah Winfrey, American talk show host, actress, producer, and author

4) Input

I do not watch the news. Some people criticize me for not being up to speed on world events. They say, ‘you have to be informed,’ and my response is ‘how come?’

I have no control over most of the events currently happening. Knowing about them takes some food from the good wolf and gives it to the bad wolf.

Believe me when I say that you will know about the relevant events. Your company may send a communication to all employees, your friends will comment about it, etc. For those significant items, I will go on the Internet and read the pertinent highlights.

As of the time of this writing, this practice has not hindered my performance; on the contrary, allowing input of inspiring, motivating and useful information has made me a better professional, leader, mentor, and coach.

“If you are positive, you will see opportunities instead of obstacles.” Unknown

One more thing before you go

Everything and everyone we allow in our brain and personal space feed the good wolf or the bad one. The good wolf requires much more fuel and better-quality food to survive. It is much easier to feed the bad wolf.

We have the power to choose what we let in and the company we keep. Unless you are a newscaster, law enforcement, or similar, it is not necessary to know every negative event that is happening in the world, your city, or neighborhood. You will hear about the most relevant events impacting the world, your country, or industry. Then, you can choose how much and what kind of content about that event you want to consume.

When it comes to toxic people, even if they are family, you can determine how much time and influence you allow this person to have on you.

We can reprogram our brains to focus on the positive more often than the negative. Constantly and zealously guard the health of your good wolf. And trust the process. With time you will notice slight changes at first — you will smile more often, attract different people, and experience lower stress. As you continue to feed the good wolf, you will see some of your goals come to fruition, life events will feel less overwhelming, and you will experience better physical and mental health.

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor, and Stoic philosopher

How do you feed your good wolf? Please, let us know in the comments.

As a leadership coach, I enable talent to achieve bold goals with high standards. My mission is to empower underrepresented women in the financial industry transition from mid to senior level leadership positions using mental fitness to achieve peak performance, peace of mind, and healthier relationships.

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